So close, yet, so far away

My life is brilliant...

She smiled at me on the subway
She was with another man
I won't lose no sleep on that
because I've got a plan...
I'm very content with life at the moment. I'm not too worried about the future for I'm realizing, in time, all things will work out, but which things? Hmmm, that is a question neither you or I know the answer of at the moment.

...we shared a moment that will last til the end...
I have a lot of faith in people, almost too much. This faith in people often leads to disappointment. I feel like that could happen again soon because I realized I was putting a lot of myself and my faith into someone that probably is not capable of returning it in the same capacity and may not ever. The tough part is letting go of someone who is quickly becoming such a cherished part of my life, but I think it will hurt less this way. I feel if I continue on the path I've been on with this person I'll end up disappointed in myself for once again jumping in head first, instead of dipping my toe in to test the waters first.
...I don't know what to do because but I'll never be with you...

I feel attachment to very few people. The ones I do feel the bond with make life seem pretty lonely when they are not around, which seems to be more than they are around. This is mainly my fault though. I never want to be looked at as needy by my friends. I love them all and don't want to be a bother, just a great friend. I am probably completely off in my thought of my friends thinking of me as needy. I tend to be the force behind the distance which sometimes seperates us due to me not wanting them to see me when I don't have life "together".

I tend to be very intuitive when it comes to other's needs and feelings. I guess I just assume everyone is this way. As I experience more and more people, I am realizing very few people are are naturally intuitive. I am not sure if this is a gift or a curse. Although, this time my intuition is saying hang in there, experience is saying cut loose now.

It's time to face the truth because I'll never be with you

lyrics: You're Beautiful by James Blunt

PS. My feet feel like they are housing rocks. I think I need a pedicure.