Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts

Aug 28, 2007

You've got a friend in me...

You've got a friend in me.
You've got a friend in me.
When the road looks rough ahead,
And you're miles and miles from your nice warm bed.
You just remember what your old pal said.
Boy, you've got a friend in me.
Yeah, you've got a friend in me.
It is a very lonely and scary when I can't talk to my best friends. It sucks that some travel, some live in other cities, and some just have lives that are too busy to take time out for a chat. I miss them. I miss who I am with them.
You've got a friend in me.
You've got a friend in me.
If you've got troubles, and I got 'em too.
There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you.
If we stick together we can see it through,
Cause you got a friend in me.
Yeah, you got a friend in me.
Right now, some of my best friends are hundreds, if not thousands, of miles away; others are only right down the street, yet, I feel I can't talk to any of them. I am feeling very isolated I know if I reach out my friends will always be there for me.

The problem is...I don't know how to reach out when I am falling apart on the insides. I feel no one understand the amount of pain I experience on a daily basis, both physically and mentally. If I show it, I am depressing or a downer and no one will want to be around me. If I don't, I am left in the same quandary I am in now...isolation with no easy out.
Some other folks might be a little bit smarter than I am.
Bigger and stronger too.
Baby, but none of them will ever love you the way I do,
It's me and you, boy.
I know, this year especially, several of my friends have been to hell and back with their own problems, which makes it seem petty of me to think I have my own any more, but I do...and I crumble alone.
And as the years go by,
Our friendship will never die.
You gonna see it's our destiny.
You got a friend in me.
You got a friend in me.
Yeah, you got a friend in me

I selected this song to go with this post because the song always makes me happy for one; and two, it is a good reminder of the strength of friendship through thick and thin which is something we sometimes take for granted, or in my case lately, scared to take advantage of...

I am terrified at times to turn to my friends, my really, good friends. The friend who have pictures of me painted from 10 years ago...I can't live up to that girl anymore. I depress myself trying. I feel every time I turn around I am letting someone close to me down. Not on purpose, the world is out of my control.

I keep trying to go back to GAM (camp), skipping down the gravel road, linked arms, seeing each other for the first time in a year (or more), and singing this song at the top of our lungs, out of tune, without a care in the world...

Note: I started writing this on May 3rd, added a bit, and finally posted today.
~"You've got a Friend" lyrics by Randy Newton

Mar 24, 2007

Sometimes it isn't pretty being GREEN

I am in Kansas City with my 9 closest friends; yet, my head is still stuck in St. Louis. I should be totally here, worry free, enjoying the break from the hectic life in StL, but for some reason my head keeps wondering what is going on in StL. Is he moving on with someone else?

There has been a distance lately, very little communication (emails, texts, calls, IMs). Hmm. He doesn't owe me a thing by my own design. I don't expect anything, but I wonder. I let my mind wander and destroy me.

I keep telling myself it is better this way, keep working on me. Me. I hate the fact that I'm human. I see him in pain and I want to fix it. I sit here thinking about the fact that he is probably moving on. Feelings suck. Life was so much easier when I was numb to the world.

Things to erase today: jealousy

Oct 23, 2006

Something true is never lost

I'm still flying high from one of the best weekends of my life. I think I could write an entire book about 24 hrs of my life. It was simply amazing how it has affected me and how great I feel. I don't think anything could take this sense of self and happiness away from me.

Friday night, the whirl wind weekend began. I went up to The Phoenix, a local bar, where my friends' band, The Real Me, was playing and my outlaw (ex-MIL), Sharon, was celebrating her birthday. All my ex-in-laws and associated friends were there dancing and having a great time. It was great to see so many faces from the past. And, of course, Chris and Lisa were there. Tonight was different though. Instead of Lisa and I dancing the night away like we always do and Chris occassionally joining in. It was Chris and I dancing...kinda like old times. A nice remembrance for my 30th birthday weekend. I didn't speak. I listened. He told it would be ok. I have made it this far on my own. Thirty would be better...and he is still there for me. He said it may not seem like it sometimes, but he is still one of my best friends. He is not going anywhere. He still loves me and will take care of me. I am safe. In my place in life, even from my ex-husband, that is all I need to hear....from him, the most sometimes, it is exactly what I need to hear. Letting go of Chris was/is hard for me. He was the person who new me best, who still knows me best. He knows my weaknesses. He knows the real me.

We both know we were not meant to be married to each other, but friendship is a definite. Neither one of us would be who we are without the other. Ten years is hard to replace. Ten years together can never be replaced, nor do I ever want it to be. I smile knowing he doesn't either. I can't ever replace my first love, or one of my best friends.

Isn't that right, Chris!



PS. Not only did I keep Chris in my life, he has found and given me a great friend in his girlfriend, Lisa. I may sound like a broken record but she is one of the most caring and fun people I have every met. She is just as important in my life now as Chris is (more so sometimes)...gotta stand by that girl-power. Love you, Lisa!

Written 10/18/2006

Oct 3, 2006

Stay tuned...

I'm back from my little KC adventure, where I caught up on sleep, time with "my boys", bonding with Emily, and Fish-isms. I have lots to share and misquote, so if someone plays with meat in a box that explodes, please do not take it the wrong way....because we already did.

Check back late tonight for a full KC update.

Chow Mien for now.

Sep 28, 2006

Bummed

Sometimes I can't be the accomodating one...I'm always the accomodating one.

I worked until 7pm last night. I add that up to about 30 hours too many. I know this is not the fault of my friends, but my plans were set over a month ago. I suggested they join me and the others the minute they mentioned we get together tonight, but no, not good enough.

One couple is in town with a big announcement from San Diego; the other is recently engaged, in St. Louis. Both couples include two of my best friends from high school. It is tough to the point of tears for me not just agreeing to just blow off my other plans and meet the four of them...and catch up with the others as I have time, but I am tired and frustrated. I am sure the four of them think I am unreasonable because I am single and just a lonely singleton who won't just agree to their plans...but I just can't do it any more. I really think I might crack with any additional stress this week.

The week has been really long and I cannot handle any changes right now. I just want to stick with the plan in my head and go with it. I am really tired. I know the drive to Westport. I know the restaurant/bar, Trainwreck, well, so all the comfort zones are there. If I go somewhere new, I won't be at ease and my night will be pretty much spent with me feeling tight as rubber bands because I am some place new and unfamiliar. As it is, I am not sure how I will do with the group as a whole anyways. Becky is ok, because it is Becky and I see her and talk to her all the time. The others don't sit in my everyday zone, so I don't know how at ease or not I will be with them all. It is hard to say and think that someone I am so close to can seem so distant to me at times, but that is Social Anxiety disorder for you, compliments of PTSD. I want to say it is better, but every time I do I get put back into a situation like last Friday where I feel super out of place and just want to leave. Hmmm. The devils. As it is, I won't be able to eat tonight wherever I go, so I, at least, want to go somewhere where I won't feel like should be chewing Zantac instead of bubblegum. I just wish they could understand, but then, again, I don't wish these constant feelings on anyone. I may seem fine, but I'M A FREAK and a overall happy one at that if I get my way tonight. Therefore, I am going to the Trainwreck and not drinking a drop and singing my out-of-tune butt off to Loud Mouth Soup.....And if that doesn't make you cover your ears and die laughing, nothing will. I'll be the one with droopy tired eyes, molesting the guys on stage because I can, not because I want to or they want me to. Have a great evening. Cheers.

Sep 23, 2006

AAA - All about Alex

Happy 31st Birthday, Alex!
and
Congratulations on the big birthday present
on getting your divorce finalized yesterday.
I hope this year brings you lots
of wonderful new beginnings and big smiles.
You deserve every little bit of happiness in your new future.

Thank you for being the friend I can always count on.
I know you are always there
with constant and unending support.
You are my window and, often, my mirror too.
May all your wishes come true.

Sep 22, 2006

...and everything changes

I have survived over a month without my covenanted green fairy (alcohol for the newbies). I've been doing great and feeling great about it. If there will ever be a challenge of my will tonight will be it. My cousin, Jager, has been calling my name all day.

In my head, I think of the people who keep congratulating me on quitting and who keep hugging me telling me how proud they are. Then, I think about how much easier the things going through my head would be to take with a little relaxing help from cousin Jager or uncle Tequila. Answers there are, ask Yoda!

This week has been so challenging and today just made it even worse. The results being exactly as I expected and had been preparing myself for all week. The depression side of things has made an ugly appearance again. The lonely feeling that no one will ever be able to fill, the deep dark hole. The pit in my stomach is making it hard to eat and drink. The dark hole/pit just consumes every moment making me feel so alone, which I am. I am.

I can't wait until my trip next weekend to KC. A whole weekend road trip with the guys to go see Emily, Rev. Joe and Tracy. A weekend surrounded 24/7 by friends, no escaping, no cancelling (they will carry me out kicking and screaming if they need to). It is good to have friends. I need to go see Geoff-geoff too. He just needs to send a ticket so I can't cancel on him either (hint, hint, Geoff, Marc/Lynne/Mike, etc).

Back to the title, I feel today is the official beginning of a some changes in some of my friendships. I hope I'm wrong, but only time will tell.

....sad, so sad. It was bad, so bad. It was sad when the great ship went down.

Sep 6, 2006

A Plug for my friend, Shaun's, Sis's Cookbook

From Shaun (former The Real Me bass player):

Hey everybody. The cookbook that I contributed some of my short stories is available now on Amazon. My sister Jeanne did the recipes, Brother Dane created the artwork, Brother Grant edited it and I wrote about ten short stories about family trips and old memories. Please let all of our friends know about it. There is a link on the Merchandise page of my web site. Here is the Amazon link too. Shaun

Christmas will be here before you know and if you are like me, you don't have a clue what to buy anyone....why not order a case of cookbooks, easy to drop in giftbags and hand out to all those people who give you gifts that you didn't have a clue you were supposed to buy for. Ahh, the life of a singleton gift giver.

Sep 1, 2006

Have I mentioned lately

Have I mentioned lately how great my ex-husband's girlfriend, Lisa, is? Not only did she invite me out for girl's night last night, when I didn't show or call, she followed up with phone calls today to make sure I was ok.

Life is queer sometimes. I have found a great friend in Lisa. It is very comforting knowing I have another great person looking out for me when times gets tough. She is, also, a great time out on the dance floor, or anywhere I end up with her.

Keep on rockin' girl!

Aug 31, 2006

Out of nowhere

A friend from my past suddenly appeared on my screen last night. Someone who has always held a very deep place in my heart and not for obvious reasons. He is someone I met at a turning point in my life and provided a lot of support when I needed it most.

Rrrr has one of the most comforting voices I know. His voice alone would assure me things would be ok. Granted, we met at turning points in both our lives when life seemed most complicated. Still, there was a comfort knowing someone was out there (thinking of me, worrying about me, and feeling the same pains in life and love) made my very existence better.

Rrrr is romantic dreamer. He was a big influence to me, always made me think a little deeper and realize the many passions in our lives. He encouraged me to explore them and not to always let the easy or practical roads lead us away from our true happiness. I learned I have many passions that should be expressed, not hidden away from the light of day. As I climb out of this shell and explore, I tend to be more true to myself, able to express myself without doubt or worry and gain appreciation, support, and love.

Rrrr has one of those devilish smiles when he is up to no good, just the thought of it makes me laugh. Laugh at the good times and the trouble the two of us could/can get ourselves into...and probably still could, should our paths cross more often.

Rrrr, also, shows an enormous amount of concern for the mental and the physical being. He reminds me both need to be taken care of. He was dead right when he encouraged me to work out, eat well, and sleep. It is amazing how when you take care of the physical, the mental improves too.

These are just a few of the great memories and lessons Rrrr has given me. Hopefully, they will continue. Hearing from him definitely let me end my day with a smile filled with lots of great memories. Too bad all days cannot end that way.

Aug 30, 2006

I pulled a Sheila

Geoff is keeping me very entertained today with his crabby, hungover mood, and constant calls for assistance.

Evidently, Geoff "pulled a Sheila" last night and is paying the price today. And while being in such a lovely condition, he decided loading up his new laptop with the necessary software and drivers is a good idea. I'm not so convinced being that I am his personal help desk technician, who he doesn't pay crap to put up with his attitude while providing great support. (LoL, feel the love, Geoff-geoff, feel the love)

Geoff and I met a few years back and the first time we went out, it was, of course, a drinking adventure. With our love of Vodka and the lack of things to do in Springfield, IL, we went on a pub crawl, drinking a Vodka-tonic or two at each of our stops. The last of our stops of the day landed us in a nice little corner bar where the bartender would hand-stuff the bleu cheese olives. (For all of you that just went Ewwwww, I'm right there with you.) Geoff happens to love a good vodka on the rocks garnished with a few bleu-cheese stuffed olives; he, also, believes that everyone else should love them too. I can tell you he is wrong in this belief (and now I think he finally agrees with me). Being the good sport I am, I tried one of Geoff's olives knowing I have never cared for the taste of olives or bleu-cheese. I managed to swallow without gagging the putrid thing back up and promptly washed it down with another vodka on the rocks.

After bantering for awhile about baseball and which team is better the Cards or the Cubs and placing a few wagers on the season's final outcomes. Geoff and I decided we drank more than our share of vodka for the day and maybe it was time for a break for a bit before dinner. Off to the hotel room we went, Geoff, unfortunately, beat me into the bathroom. While waiting my turn, I kicked back in the bed only to realize I was too drunk to lay down. My world started spinning and I couldn't get the legendary trick of the foot on the floor before I started hurling all over the bed and floor and eventually blacking out.

Waking up hours later in the bathtub, I realized Geoff was talking to my Mom of all people on the phone. First question out of my mouth is "Why is my mother calling you?" and then, hearing the concerned conversation I start blurting out, "I'm fine, Mom...just acted stupid and drank too much." Then, I had to explain to her, my sister, my ex-husband, and my friend, Jack that I was OK...and, no, they did not know Geoff, but I was completely safe...and, no, I will not tell you where I am...and, no, you cannot come and get me. UGH.

Needless to say, that was the night "pulling a Sheila" was coined. Anytime, Geoff or anyone he knows drinks to much into a puking oblivion, I get called and told about who "pulled a Sheila" this time. I'm glad I made my mark in history, or not.

Aug 28, 2006

So close, yet, so far away

My life is brilliant...

She smiled at me on the subway
She was with another man
I won't lose no sleep on that
because I've got a plan...

I'm very content with life at the moment. I'm not too worried about the future for I'm realizing, in time, all things will work out, but which things? Hmmm, that is a question neither you or I know the answer of at the moment.

...we shared a moment that will last til the end...
I have a lot of faith in people, almost too much. This faith in people often leads to disappointment. I feel like that could happen again soon because I realized I was putting a lot of myself and my faith into someone that probably is not capable of returning it in the same capacity and may not ever. The tough part is letting go of someone who is quickly becoming such a cherished part of my life, but I think it will hurt less this way. I feel if I continue on the path I've been on with this person I'll end up disappointed in myself for once again jumping in head first, instead of dipping my toe in to test the waters first.
...I don't know what to do because but I'll never be with you...

I feel attachment to very few people. The ones I do feel the bond with make life seem pretty lonely when they are not around, which seems to be more than they are around. This is mainly my fault though. I never want to be looked at as needy by my friends. I love them all and don't want to be a bother, just a great friend. I am probably completely off in my thought of my friends thinking of me as needy. I tend to be the force behind the distance which sometimes seperates us due to me not wanting them to see me when I don't have life "together".

I tend to be very intuitive when it comes to other's needs and feelings. I guess I just assume everyone is this way. As I experience more and more people, I am realizing very few people are are naturally intuitive. I am not sure if this is a gift or a curse. Although, this time my intuition is saying hang in there, experience is saying cut loose now.

It's time to face the truth because I'll never be with you

lyrics: You're Beautiful by James Blunt

PS. My feet feel like they are housing rocks. I think I need a pedicure.

Aug 26, 2006

It's not you, it's me?

I'm writing today not only my own personal experience and feelings, but from the stories and understandings of my many male friends, who often consider me just one of the guys. (I still haven't decided if that is a good or bad thing)

There is a common occurrence in dating many women, and sometimes men, do not understand. The lack of understanding adds to the cluelessness of what really causes men to "tick" and leads them into the circumstances of such occurrences. I hear about it repetitively from male-types I associate with. Such occurrences are very common in the movies too, but I rarely can say, as a female, I am often the perpetrator. I know you are wondering what this occurrence is and here is the really tough part to explain (partly because many of my readers are men and God bless you guys). Well, here goes nothing...

There is the situation where everything is going fine or status quo in a relationship. Then, for no particular reason, you wake up one day and realize I'm done. I am ready to pull out of this relationship. There is not an explainable reason. There is nothing wrong with the other party involved, no problems between the two of you. You just hit the point that you are finished with the relationship.

People have this need for justification, an exact reason. Some times life is not that simple, especially relationships. You can love a person, but not have that drive to keep things going. Relationships in my mind are draining (friendships, dating, family, etc.). I think one is sub-consciencely aware of a drain or lack of spark before one's self can fully interpret and justify an ending or change. I believe some people are just more willing to act on the sub-conscience edginess in a relationship and make the change without that one infamous reason, or last straw. And in these situations, no answer is ever really going to put one at peace. When it is over, it is over. When a change needs to be made, make it. Prolonging the inevitable is a guilty self-torture which is totally unnecessary.

Guilt: Being responsible for and accountable for an offense or (in my words) a torture device abused by modern society

Aug 21, 2006

11 hours and 34 dead Armadillos...POP

I missed Becky's birthday today, but she was swamped with family things (and to swamp myself in the same way I spent the day with my Aunt Sis (Harleen) and her daughter, Mary Jo.
Actually, most of the day was spent in the car with my aunt. We drove from Farmington, MO to Springfield, MO to get Mary Jo settled into her dorm room for her first year at college. Exciting Stuff, huh?

I decided to go along for the trip to get in some quality time with my aunt who has always seemed to look out for me and to play the role of the big sister Mary Jo never wanted. I may have overplayed the role of big sister and overprotective parent a little...or maybe, a lot. I don't think my aunt was able to speak two words with me spouting out wisdom like I've experienced life unlike no other she'll cross paths with.

I doubt Mary Jo was listening to half of what I said, but even if she caught one little bit, she will experience one less trial and, with that, not have to learn any more lessons than needed the hard way.

We've all been there. Those first days, months, years on our own where we are terrible at laundry, dishes, money, boys (oh man, boys) etc. And after we survive, we try to share our experiences with our siblings and/or children, but they don't want to hear it, What do WE know anyways, we're old now. I laugh when an 18 year old thinks I'm old. I'm twenty-nine freaking years old! I'm not dead in the box yet, give me a break.

In my head, it was only yesterday when my parents and I were fighting over packing boxes to move my skinny butt out and off to college (Boy, that didn't last long). I did pretty good with the money aspect and even with keeping the boys in check (minus a toga party or two), after those two, my track record goes downhill quickly. I may not have been the worst, but I definitely could've done better. I'm either a perfectionist or far from perfection. I am not good with middle of the road average.

I think I ran out of clean dishes somewhere around the middle of Sept. '95. I don't think I saw them clean again until my Mom came to visit at the end of October and decided to wash and replace everything with paper products.

The other thing I was awful about was going to class, unless they could promise me something of interest I rather stay in bed. Osmosis and sleep are way better than showering, dressing and lecture hall, just make sure you are there on test days.

Speaking of showering...Oh my, Mary Jo doesn't know how lucky she is to be in a suite with just 6 girls in her "gross" bathroom. I had a shared one for the whole floor and it seemed like it was 100 years old. Icky and slimey were understatements. The only good time to shower was after midnight or no later than 6am, if you wanted hot water and water pressure at the same time. Being that I have long thick hair and can't stand cold showers, 6am it was, because listening to girls heave while you are trying to bath at midnight is not such a cleansing feeling. Are those chunks coming under the stall?

Survival of the fittest? Freshman 10, 15, 20??? The other thing I reminded Mary Jo of was loneliness and food does not cure it. I hooked her up with all sorts of snacks, but warned her that they were there to get her thru when she didn't have time to eat or needed a late night nutritional burst, not to get through a rough day in the dorm, fights with roommates or failing that first test because this isn't high school anymore.

I'm pretty sure she'll do great. She is a tough cookie, like myself. Her weaknesses will be that she will try to be too strong and proud at times. One of my hardest lessons learned was letting people in: to know I was sad, lonely, or just needed help. The next ten years will be some of the best and worst of times for her. Luckily the bad times, just make the good times that much better. She is beginning and I'm at the opposite end of those ten years trying to put myself together for the rest of my life. I kinda feel like we are in the same place, I just have a few more of the hard knocks under my belt. Maybe that is why I feel so strongly of trying to relate sooooo many lessons to her. I love her as much as my own sister (which she is) and want her to succeed. We all deserve it.

Now I'm guessing you wonder why I titled this 11 hours and 34 dead armadillos. Well, I spent 11 hours on the road Sunday from StL to Farmington to Springfield to Farmington to StL and counted 34 dead armadillos on the road. My aunt and I didn't hit any of the little guys, but from what we understand when they get scared they pop straight up as a defense mechanism. Then, SPLAT, right into the grill or bumper of your car. I only found one on hwy 67. Most of the little guys were in multiple degrees of decapitation along hwy 44 headed EASTBOUND. I guess they've had enough of ol' georgie and texas too. Can't blame them, I would just advise more caution hiking up the highways though ;)

Happy Birthday, Becky!

"HAPPY 29th BIRTHDAY, BECKY"
You soon to be old married hag!
Enjoy this last year of the life
as a 20-something singleton
because it all changes next year.
Married. 30s. Mrs. Rob...
Oh my, sounds scary to me.
Who ever thought we'd get past
our UA days
of red plaid skirts and cardigans?
(get your minds out of the gutter, boys)
Congratulations on your engagement
and
Happy Birthday, Sweets!
I would sing,
but you know I save that for our
"special moments".
Luv ya!

Aug 15, 2006

Happy 29th Birthday, Sarah!

Happy Birthday, Sarah!

Don't forget to let your inner child out this year
for now is the end of your youth.
Next year YOU'LL BE OLD
and kissin your 20s goodbye.
I love you
and hope this is the best birthday yet.
Give Wayne a kiss for me
and tell him I am glad he has made it home safely.

Love you both!
Shebs
PS. to the readers out there. Shebs is not my real name, just Sarah's nickname for me. Thank my parents for having better taste than naming me after cat food. Also, Wayne is Sarah's hubby who is returning from overseas tomorrow. Who could ask for a better birthday present?

Aug 8, 2006

It's a small world after all

I had a long talk last night with a friend of mine, who like myself is going through (to coin our president) the shock and awe phase of divorce. It's a time when you realize how great things are now and that not everything is like our lives pre-divorce. It is one of those times where you really start to discover who you are as a solo and that things do not have to be the same with any possible future duet.

The great thing about this friend is how much he makes me smile (like my old self smiling all the time). He truly is interested in my life and vice-versa. Even though our marriages (and divorces) were very different, there is still an overwhelming amount of parallel ground between us.

He is, also, one of the first people to really want to understand what I am going through with the PTSD. He questioned about why I keep things in and what sort of things I keep tucked away deep inside. He just wanted to know the deeper me...and as scary as it was to skim some of those details, he made me feel at ease with it all...and the details didn't scare him.

His smile is warming and contagious. His concern is so deep and genuine and extremely comforting. I am not sure if it is because we are really getting to know each other or not, but I just have so much to talk to him about, so many similar stories, so much fascination with each other. It is great and rare to have someone that "gets it" and for that I'm feeling very blessed today.

Aug 3, 2006

A little help from my friends

...What would you think if I sang out of tune
Would you stand up and walk out on me...

Some people find my life fascinating, not because of things I've done or accomplished but because of how my life is post-divorce. I am, evidently, one of those strange people who have remained friends with my ex-husband. We are not tolerating each other because we have joint custody of kids...We never had kids, nor tried. We are not the type of friends who cross paths andl say hi to each other. Chris and I are really great friends. Not only am I great friends with him, but I am becoming great friends with (stop the presses) his girlfriend, Lisa.

Lisa is one of these unbelievably nice people that sees the best in everyone. Like myself, she is very open-minded and rather be friends with someone than not have any relationship with them at all. She is open-minded and just as comfortable with me, as I am with her. She even hangs out with me without Chris around. I definitely consider her MY friend, not just Chris' girlfriend.

...I get by with a little help from my friends
I get high with a little help from my friends
Going to try with a little help from my friends...
Chris and Lisa really have been a huge support system for me. For example, I had a bad weekend and the two of them happened to stop in to drop some of my things off. Instead of dropping and running, they came in to have a drink and to catch up a bit. Not only were helping me talk thru emotional ups and downs that I have been dealing with, Chris fixed my garbage disposal and took out my trash. Damn, I wish he was this helpful when we were married (just kidding, Chris). Sitting there talking with them is no different than chatting with my other close friends. I really have seperated myself from my life as one with Chris and vice-versa. We both look at the now and rarely look back or dwell on the past. We started off as friends and friends is how we shall end.

...What do I do when my love is away
(Does it worry you to be alone)
How do I feel by the end of the day
(Are you sad because you're on your own)

No I get by with a little help from my friends
Do you need anybody...
I am not sure I could get by everything life is throwing at me right now without Chris. He is the only one that was in the car when I was hit, even though he was not conscious. He is the only person that really knew how bad my ups and downs were following the accident and how much the accident took away my identity. He and I went through a rollercoaster of hell, but came out of it with smiles on our faces knowing both our lives will be ok. We are still here to support each other, just with different rules to this new game of life.

...I get by with a little help from my friends
Yes I get by with a little help from my friends
With a little help from my friends

~Lyrics: A little help from my friends by Lennon/McCartney~

Aug 1, 2006

Hey little sister what have you done

Saturday afternoon, my dearest friend, Rrebeckagh, from high school called. "HEY, DO YOU WANT TO BE IN MY WEDDING? YOU'RE THE FIRST PERSON I ASKED." Translation: Rob finally proposed approximately 1 year after the two of them met poolside. I think I had to ask 3 times how he proposed, I don't think she cared...she had the holy grail, or maybe one hell of a blinging engagement ring, either way, my little Becky-sister (as my youngest siblings always refer to her) is getting married! Her world is finally complete.

One question: Does anyone date anymore? or do you just get married? I have little faith in love at first sight and maybe that one little piece of pessimism in my life is what keeps me from jumping in head first with every guy I meet (and trust me, sometimes that is not easy). I'm cautious right now; I can't deal with any additional possibility of trauma, plus keeping a little distance makes the heart grow founder, right?

I love Becky and Rob...and I envy what they and some of my other friends have figured out so quickly. I wish them, along with Michelle and Tom, the best of luck in their new lives together. Michelle and Tom are just over a month from their wedding.

As Billy Idol has said many times, "It's a nice day for a white wedding".

Jul 14, 2006

Death becomes us

Death is something that surrounds us, something we will never be able to escape. Every day we pass death by and often we are unphased by it....dead animals in the street (mmm, yummy roadkill), passing by a funeral procession on a road (showing not an ounce of respect), murders and drownings on the news, etc., etc. We accept this as everyday life, as it is, yet, most still fear their own death. Riddle me that one, Batman.

People die. Many of us don't know how we will meet our maker, but eventually we all do. Someone could be given a death sentance by cancer, yet die the next day in a car wreck. You just never know how or when for sure your day will come, even if you do try to take control of it yourself. You are never 100% what you do to yourself will definitely bring an end to it all.

Last night, a friend of mine, Lane, was driving me home. When we were passing through the stoplight before my house we saw all the cars on the road pulling to the shoulders. Lane said, "Look, I think that is a body on the road." I didn't think it looked like that, but wasn't sure either...without my glasses it looked like something in a white trash bag. Unfortunately, where we came to rest in all the chaos was right next to a very still pale body laying on the ground. Lifeless. People were running around unsure what to do. One man tried to find a pulse without moving the body but never found a thing. When the police showed up moments later, a few people jumped in there cars and took off, couldn't be bothered by the lifeless body, or maybe running from the cops. The man that had earlier checked the pulse of the body started running after the one vehicle shouting and throwing his hands in the air. I have a feeling that vehicle was involved somehow. The sad part was the truck behind us anxiously honking their horn at both the police and those in front of them trying to get around everyone. I love the respect of modern man, can't even be bothered by a dead body in the road, wants to rush on by, like a human is equivalent to a wild rodent, another piece of roadkill.

Back at my house, Lane's last words of the evening were, "Man, I can't believe we saw a dead body tonight." It was kind of a haunting and frightening reality that we both had to sleep with. The last thought in my head last night was the victim and two tennis shoes in the middle of the highway.

Side note: Lane is driving back home on his 3-4 hour journey as I type. I hope his travels are safe. God Speed, dear friend.

Most people never have to experience the phenomena of finding someone dead or seeing someone die. Seeing a dead person in a casket is not much better sometimes, but our heads, from a very young age, are programmed to view a body in a casket as a thing of peace, a final goodbye. I, unfortunately, have experienced death multiple times.

I was the tender age of 6 when I first remember experiencing death. I recall seeing my Grandpa laying in a hospital bed with my aunts and uncles gathered around him. I was standing in the doorway of the hospital room peering in. Everyone was touching him with tears in their eyes. It is a very vivid image in my head. Even more so, sitting in the lounge at Gerber chapel and my parents telling me to stay there while they went into Grandpa's wake to say goodbye to Gramps. Being only 6, I thought that he was going to wake up one last time and say goodbye to everyone. I was confused, sad, and hurt that I couldn't see him wake up and say goodbye. To make things worse, I was sent to Grams' house with Grandma E during the services...left out of the final chance to put Grandpa to rest. I loved my Grandpa. I just wish I could've kept him around longer. I need more memories.

lightning crashes, an old mother dies
her intentions fall to the floor
the angel closes her eyes
the confusion that was hers
belongs now, to the baby down the hall


August 1994, Aunt Marie for the first time ever was not at my dance class. She told me in November 1982 that she would always be at dance class for me (when I was a scared little tot who's mother couldn't always stay because she was pregnant with my baby sister). Aunt Marie's great nieces quit dancing some time in the 80s, but she still kept coming to dance class, not only for me, but for all of us scared little tots and all of us that she supported as we learned discipline and dance.

I had to leave dance class to go and check on her. All of us were worried. I was 17 and went alone. Her car was in her garage and she was not answering her apartment door when I knocked endlessly. The lady across the hall came out and said her bathtub had been running over 24 hours and when she called the super he checked for plumbing leaks in the basement and then left, never checking on the source of the running water. I called 911 and the paramedics broke out the front window of the apartment to get into her. Then, they had to throw themselves into the bathroom door and then finally the firemen arrived and broke it down. They held me still at the doorway, holding me up, not saying a word. The way they embraced me said it all. I sat there 20 minutes until someone else I knew arrived. Alone on the front walk of the building, knowing I lost one of the greatest, most giving and supportive people in my life, I only let out a couple of tears...until I went home to my parents and explained the days events. I cried a little with them, then balled my eyes out when I was alone that night.

On Friday the 13th, October 1995, I saw a drunk driver lose control at the intersection I was crossing and hit another car and a wall. The passenger got thrown out of the car into a gas pump to his death. I believe there were other deaths, but I only remember the one. I, also, remember the deaths were more of a side note in the news instead of the main story. There was no respect or rememberence. The stories were all about the drunk driver and his history. Hmm, I just love the news.

I could go on and on, but in the end...numbness; death is our every day life.

And then I see my Pink Elephants.