A toast to Becky and Rob

I met Becky the first day she moved back to St. Louis from Omaha. It was the first day of our freshman year at Ursuline, our first big day in high school. She immediately became part of me and my family. In fact to this day, my nineteen year old brother, who was just 3 when he met her still refers to her as "Becky-sister".

So, today, we are all here (thank you for being here) for Becky and Rob's wedding, albeit 50 years early from the best laid plans we made in high school. I think the original plan was for me to be pushing Becky in her wheelchair down the aisle around the age of 80. Thanks for screwing that up, Rob, but I'm sure Mom and Dad Clemens are very greatful....because the UA "boobsie twins" were not always known for planning well, or making the best decisions....

Cooking for example - Beck and I CANNOT cook. Simple things, like Uncle Ben's boil rice bags...eh, not so much. Evidently, you can burn boil bag rice. Yes, somehow two bright girls like ourselves could not handle the simple things like boiling a bag of rice, soooo we knew if either of us found a man who could cook...we should keep him. Rob, you can cook, right???

Driving - anyone ever ride in a car with Becky??? Don't blame me. I tried to teach her to drive...being 10 months older and driving a land barge at 16. Becks wanted to learn to drive. I thought I could teach her. Again, ehhhhh, not so much. All I remember is driving through our friend, Colleen's, subdivision and suddenly seeing Becky heading for mailboxes and parked cars screaming, "NOOOOO, the other peddle, the other peddle"

Drinking - Dad, do you remember in your toast you mentioned those little infractions....hmmmm, yessssss...I think you busted us on a few of those back in the day. Our first party with alcohol, Becky and I had not acquired a taste for beer, but that did not stop us from wanting to fit in. I remember us walking around all night with cans of beer in our hands, the same two cans of warm beer....occasionally putting the beers up to our mouths acting like we were drinking. Then, Mom and Dad Clemens show up to drive us home. Next morning, Becky and I are down in the kitchen, Becky asks me what I want to drink. Jim (Dad) shouts from the living room, "Hey Sheila, How about a beer?" BUSTED. Busted and we didn't even really drink. I remember Becky and I just looking at each other with looks of shock.

Fast forward to many moments I wish to forget at Tremors. Musical influences that changed as much as we have...MC Hammer, FU Schnickens, DePeche Mode, NIN, a brief hiccup in country music, an uncanny obsession with Jessie's Girl. Our friends getting married, having kids, finding our first gray hairs.....then Becky meets Rob.

Sarah and Wayne married 2 years ago in San Diego. Becky and I flew out there for the wedding. On the trip out, we read together, "He's just not that into you". Many of you have heard of the book, it is by the author of the show "Sex and the City". It is one of those pump women up and tell you how great guys should be treating you. As Becky and I read, and giggled, and related stories of the past and present. There was a constant theme. Everything ended with, "Rob's soooo great. He does that for me all the time." I knew she found her one.

Rob, Mrs. Kjar's husband, there are a few things you need to know.

Becky loves to be woken up to someone singing "Can you take me high enough"...the louder and more out of tune, the better. Its your job now, since I don't think we will be having any more sleepovers.

And if she ever shows up to really important events with yellow bleached out bombshell hair. Just smile and tell her how beautiful she looks. (that was my wedding btw)

And most importantly, if she EVER tries to set me up on another blind date with a blonde horse mullet guy with hair longer than mine (fifteen years later and I'm still not over that). Please tell her no. I'll take care of my own love life. After all, she can't find success in love twice. She found you for herself.

Please raise your glasses.......

Something true is never lost

I'm still flying high from one of the best weekends of my life. I think I could write an entire book about 24 hrs of my life. It was simply amazing how it has affected me and how great I feel. I don't think anything could take this sense of self and happiness away from me.

Friday night, the whirl wind weekend began. I went up to The Phoenix, a local bar, where my friends' band, The Real Me, was playing and my outlaw (ex-MIL), Sharon, was celebrating her birthday. All my ex-in-laws and associated friends were there dancing and having a great time. It was great to see so many faces from the past. And, of course, Chris and Lisa were there. Tonight was different though. Instead of Lisa and I dancing the night away like we always do and Chris occassionally joining in. It was Chris and I dancing...kinda like old times. A nice remembrance for my 30th birthday weekend. I didn't speak. I listened. He told it would be ok. I have made it this far on my own. Thirty would be better...and he is still there for me. He said it may not seem like it sometimes, but he is still one of my best friends. He is not going anywhere. He still loves me and will take care of me. I am safe. In my place in life, even from my ex-husband, that is all I need to hear....from him, the most sometimes, it is exactly what I need to hear. Letting go of Chris was/is hard for me. He was the person who new me best, who still knows me best. He knows my weaknesses. He knows the real me.

We both know we were not meant to be married to each other, but friendship is a definite. Neither one of us would be who we are without the other. Ten years is hard to replace. Ten years together can never be replaced, nor do I ever want it to be. I smile knowing he doesn't either. I can't ever replace my first love, or one of my best friends.

Isn't that right, Chris!



PS. Not only did I keep Chris in my life, he has found and given me a great friend in his girlfriend, Lisa. I may sound like a broken record but she is one of the most caring and fun people I have every met. She is just as important in my life now as Chris is (more so sometimes)...gotta stand by that girl-power. Love you, Lisa!

Written 10/18/2006

Happy Birthday, Becky!

"HAPPY 29th BIRTHDAY, BECKY"
You soon to be old married hag!
Enjoy this last year of the life
as a 20-something singleton
because it all changes next year.
Married. 30s. Mrs. Rob...
Oh my, sounds scary to me.
Who ever thought we'd get past
our UA days
of red plaid skirts and cardigans?
(get your minds out of the gutter, boys)
Congratulations on your engagement
and
Happy Birthday, Sweets!
I would sing,
but you know I save that for our
"special moments".
Luv ya!

Hey little sister what have you done

Saturday afternoon, my dearest friend, Rrebeckagh, from high school called. "HEY, DO YOU WANT TO BE IN MY WEDDING? YOU'RE THE FIRST PERSON I ASKED." Translation: Rob finally proposed approximately 1 year after the two of them met poolside. I think I had to ask 3 times how he proposed, I don't think she cared...she had the holy grail, or maybe one hell of a blinging engagement ring, either way, my little Becky-sister (as my youngest siblings always refer to her) is getting married! Her world is finally complete.

One question: Does anyone date anymore? or do you just get married? I have little faith in love at first sight and maybe that one little piece of pessimism in my life is what keeps me from jumping in head first with every guy I meet (and trust me, sometimes that is not easy). I'm cautious right now; I can't deal with any additional possibility of trauma, plus keeping a little distance makes the heart grow founder, right?

I love Becky and Rob...and I envy what they and some of my other friends have figured out so quickly. I wish them, along with Michelle and Tom, the best of luck in their new lives together. Michelle and Tom are just over a month from their wedding.

As Billy Idol has said many times, "It's a nice day for a white wedding".