Woke up on the wrong side of the bed

Err, couch (since I haven't slept in a bed since only who knows when).

I think I should have just stayed in bed this morning. When I showered (the place where I do way too much thinking), I started over thinking yesterday's events. Yesterday was not the best of days, but ended ok with a little meditating and spoil me shopping (more on that later tonight when I unpack the bags from the backseat of my car and see how much damage I really did to my bank account). Work still has me edgy. I have a lot of work with several quick commitment dates which I don't think can be pushed back despite the world falling apart in the server room (typical for the IT world). The project management team has, also, become extremely needy this week because it is a patch week. Anytime it is patch week, they push all their customer stuff that I can handle back on me, because they are overwhelmed with documentation. Normally, I don't mind picking up the slack, but now I have a boss man (besides the owner who likes that I cover their backs). This new world isn't working well for me, at the moment. I'm not sure if it is a matter of adjustment or just not a good fit. The lack of sleep is just making the entire situation worse. I really just need a mental health day curled up in a ball where no one can find me (not even the ones I want to find me).........................

Actually, I don't think it is just work. I think it just everything, everyone; work just happened to kick it all off. I would like to go in the woods where no one can find me, hike up a bluff, feel the cool fall air against my face, the warmth of the sun warm my body, and just find a quiet place to sit and watch the world go on without me.

I haven't had any days like this for awhile, but I am just really edgy. I just don't feel like me. I still have a lot in my head I haven't been able to put to paper or to blog. Usually music helps me unclog my head when I get blocked, but I've had my iPod glued to me and it isn't helping me expell the needed mess. I keep looking over at my picture of Yoda telling me "Answers there are". "Where?" I ask. "Where?" I'm about ready to wipe that silly smirk off his face too, but I can't (I wear the same smirk almost daily). Maybe he is where I got it from....the childhood screening of Star Wars in the theater. I remember seeing two movies in the theater, Star Wars and Care Bears, when I was little. Answers there are seems to have taken me farther in life than the Care Bear stare, no offense to the Care Bears. One thing for the Care Bears though, everything ended perfectly. I think I could use one of those Care Bear hugs and endings right now. Anything...I just want to put my mind at ease from the chaos.