Another Pain in the...

The fuzziness never leaves some mornings when I wake up. I wake up, rub my eyes, stumble to the backdoor to let Chili-dog out, never quite gaining my balance. I stand in the shower with halos floating across my eyes wondering if this sick sensation will ever just leave me alone.

The hot water of the shower just seems to encourage the halos. Sitting on the floor of the stall, shivering, wishing it would either just paralyze me so I could go back to bed or go away so I could go on with life. I hate this medium...I am aggravated, but noone knows it is bothering. No one can feel the numbness in my fingers or the halos in my eyes, I have to carry on. They can't understand, or maybe they can, maybe this is normal.

I guess I wonder if I'm broken and how I need to be fixed. I don't feel right. I don't feel like living like this. I just want to be alone. The numbness starts to strangle me. I feel like I have a large fist around my neck clamping tight constricting my air flow. Then, suddenly, all the numbness disappears, but is replaced by a sharp pain in my head. The migraine. My foe. It has been awhile, but he attacks with avengence again.

This is my birthday week. I just want to be happy, but the world and work is determined to plot against me every way possible :(( =(