Oct 9, 2006

Deep Breathes til Tomorrow

I'm on such a sick rollercoaster of emotions right now. The ones I want to be having and the ones I'm experiencing...to tell you the truth sometimes I don't know which are which anymore. Do I want to be happy, stressed, freaked out, jumping with excitement????? The stress is here, deep in my chest drowning my lungs and fighting my heart. The pressure has been gone most of the time lately, but not today. Today it lingers.

It feels like I'm sitting at the bottom of a pool. I'm holding my breath. The pressure is getting harder and harder on my chest, but I stay under unable to get the air I know I need. My heart is beating harder and harder against my breast plate to the point I can feel my pulse throughout my entire body. I can't make it go away. It won't slow down. I feel like my heart wants to escape the confines of my chest. My body is asking too much of it. I hear my heart beat in my ears as if it is being amplified by water....

1 comment:

IDisposable said...

The key is remembering to put your energy into being and feeling the things you want to be and feel.

If you put energy into "not" being angry, depressed, etc... you are expending that energy in a negative way.

Rather, be FORCEFUL in you pursuit of things you want to feel. And old friend said, "If you spend time doing the dos, you won't have time to do the don'ts." I believe that.