May 8, 2007

discombobulated

Saturday night/Sunday morning, my mind was in a very depressed and scary state. I am not sure I ever freaked out that bad in the last year and a half, but I recovered quickly. I had a long talk with Alex that brought my heart rate under 100 for the first time in 24 hrs. (He can be great and supportive when it comes to talking out the scary stuff locked in my head.) Just putting my thoughts into words released the pain bottled up inside.

The two of us had dinner, which was nice, simple, and a distraction I really needed. I freaked out in my head at one point, but I don't think Alex even realized it. I don't want him or anyone to think of me as depressed. I know he most likely already thinks of me as a real downer, so I bottled up my little freak out, which allowed me to go back to enjoying the night and eventually put it out of my head.


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