Rubik's Complex

Two solid weeks of work fun! Yes, I am a sick puppy, but crisis is when I shine. My adrenaline flows best when there are major puzzles to solve, or projects to do. Up until this point, my new job had been off to a pretty slow start. I was enjoying the people and the place, but the work as a whole was slow and lacking challenge. Most of the network just needed organization, which is still the case, but now there is "needed to be done yesterday" deadline. This doesn't allow for me to approach the work in an overly cautious way, nor for me to properly plan or stage things in a methodical way, but chaos is fun (I think).

The adrenaline rush hit right when I was hitting quite a low after my gall bladder surgery. I thought removing your gall bladder was supposed to help depression, not cause it. I think part of my problem was feeling very removed from my day-to-day life. Also, the pain that I did not want to admit to added to the dumpy feelings. I kept pushing myself like nothing was wrong with me so that I could return to life and all I did was make myself feel worse. Damn you, depression.

My fear, and my doctor's, now is that when things slow at work that reality will set in and my brain won't take nicely to the drop in adrenaline since it was sliding into a bit of depression again before the "great flood." I need to start taking better care of myself and remembering to take my meds on a tighter schedule, maybe that will help when things slow down. Here's to hoping.

I think I still need more sleep, as my thoughts are still jumping all over the table...back to the couch.

PS. I love you, Meags. I'm sorry I missed the annual bash, but the body needed a day of sleep, which it does not want to wake up from. I'll make it up to you, sis.